So far in 2009...

Have not touched this blog since last year P24. So i think its about time that i kinda added something here. Its been about 13 months since the last post, and a quick update bout my life this year...

So far, the year 2009 has not been the best year. Had been having some problems before Chinese New Year with my relationship, causing me to have to break up. Breaking up is not as easy as it sounds. I mean, not trying to brag or anything, but before this i have been in 4 relationships, and all 4 girls broke up with me. In other words i got dumped pretty bad a few times. Have never thought that i would ever be in that position where i would be the one breaking up with my partner. As i have been dumped 4 times, I think i can say that i really know what it feels like to be heart broken. Now I feel so guilty about the outcome of this break up, and its not doing me any good, nor is it doing her any good. Like they say there is a first time for everything, but i never thought it would be this painful. Even though it was me who asked for the break up, i still feel like shit everytime i think about what i have done to her. Wish i could take back whatever nasty things i have said or done to her in the past. It has been about 2 months since the break up, neither one of has talked to each other since then. I guess its a normal thing after a break up. I was in this relationship for 15 months! The longest relationship that i have ever been in, and breaking up with her was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. Friends say that breaking up with her was the stupidest thing to do, but i had to do what i had to do. I feel it was a wise decision regardless of what people say. Im a person who puts my friends before anything else including myself, friendship to me is the most important thing in life. Now that we dont see or even talk to each other, i feel that this friendship is dying. Yea i know that im the jerk who broke her heart, but if its ever possible, i still wanna be friends. I would give anything for my friendships. This part of my life has not been an easy one. I have been feeling extreamly emotional for the past 2 months, mixed feelings about everything. Whenever i see her in coll, i feel so akward. My mood will just switch just like that! Maybe its normal to be feeling this way, but i feel its screwing up things! I probably just need some time to get over these feelings. Although its all bad and negative things happening now, there has been some good in this situation aswell. Since the break up, i feel that i have changed, not knowing if its for the best or the worse, i feel less childish and more matured. Have learnt to take life more seriously. Not only have i changed, but have found out some new things too. Like having know who my true friends are, not that all my friends are not true to me, but friends who really care and love me for just being myself! My 2 best friends MC and TK for example, through my ups and downs, they have always been there to back me up or pull me up when im down. This year i have made another really close friend whom i will keep close to my heart, Buddy. Buddy is one of the first few to noticed the change in me, when i was feeling emo and all, and was if im not mistaken the first to come up to me asking whats the matter with me. I have also gain an elder sis, Che, who listens to me and just showers her love on me when i need it most. Thanks MC, TK, Buddy and Che...Having said this, I am slowly starting to have my eyes open to the people who really care about me, I will never forget this part of my life.

Yes yes i know, my first post this year and its a silly one... Anyways besides that, life in coll is not as fun as it used to be. The subjects are starting to kill, assignments getting thougher, classes feeling longer and etc. Feel that life is empty. Nothing special, not feeling the WOW in life yet this year. Am hoping that the next few months will change. I hope to get back to my normal self, cheerful and happy go lucky, or something like that...


Oh, forgot to mention, I have noticed another change in myself. Have no clue why, but it seems that im like some super sweet talker. Not bragging bout myself, its what i have been told. Not by one girl, not by two girls, but so far there have been at least 7 girls saying that im such a sweet guy. They tell me that the words i use are so sweet and that it seems that i always put a smile on their faces. And just for the record, I have had NO intention to flirt, or maybe its just what i have become, a Sweet Talker... Dont know if thats a good or bad thing. I just enjoy seeing people smile and laugh. Just watching them smile and laugh gives me that warm feeling inside me, where i have managed to lite up a smile on the persons face whether they are feeling down or feeling "up".

As my conclusion for my first post of year 2009, I would just like to thank all those who have been there for me and showing their concern for me. Sorry if i did not mention you, but i do appriciate your concern and will never forget it. And to that girl, I am truely sorry for breaking your heart. I really hope that our friendship, or whats left of it, can continue. It would be a sad thing for me to loose this friendship of ours.

All the best my friends...